Welcome! Everything I wrote here is an expression of what my heart feels. Do forgive me if I ever offended anyone in any kind of way. Good day! :)
i used to spend a lot of time here on my blog. it has always been a good companion for me, a girl who once talkative. i prefer writing now, as most people around me would notice.
i don't normally talk to people about how i feel anymore. i guess that is a kind of sickness as well, when you're too quiet. and i think somehow --- i'm being too careful now, so that i would not feel rejected. i'm doing the rejecting first as the result of my self-defense. kot lah. hahah. merepek.
honestly, i think most people can see right through me by now. that although i have too many problem in the past, i am way happier back then. back when i am able to talk about how i feel.
now, everything is just so numb. :')
you know how people say you should not be taking care of so many hearts and let yours bleed? yeah. i get that a lot. and i remembered when i first started to blog. how easy it was for me to express things and express how i feel, without much consideration of how it will affect others. in a way, i was able to feel free through my writings. and it is okay then, because from the way i see it, life back then was good. much better than it is now. when there's too much crisis, personally, i don't think it is good to spill it all out so that the world could see the causes behind my misery.
i admit it is tiring. because by doing so, by neglecting how i feel, people tend to neglect them (my feelings) as well. honestly, i didn't expect much because what i did and still am doing, is out of love and i've accepted them as my family. but when things get this ugly, i'm not sure how i should feel or react anymore. who knows how much longer this would go on. i just want to stop trying so hard now, and maybe just stop for good. they say it is not love if you stop trying just because it is hard. well, tell me how long should i bear this heartache, i've been doing it for years now :'(
new islamic kindergarten and nursery in taman mawar, pasir gudang.
i woke up surprisingly early today despite having trouble sleeping last night. haha. and honestly, given that i am not a morning person, this amazed me too. :P haha yeah yeah, i know i should change that particular habit. :P
anyway, after subuh prayer, ummi came into my room and asked me to prepare nenek's hot tea. and while in the kitchen, i also prepared breakfast for my two little sugar gliders, mimi and kid. not so little though, haha have had them with me for more than 2 years now.
and from the kitchen, i can hear loud cries. i kind of forget that there's a new nursery and islamic kindergarten nextdoor, so hearing more than two different cries at the same time frightens me for a moment. hahah. like seriously, there's no sound of children crying around my house for so long because for all i know, all the neighbours' children had all grew into fine teens, so yeah. i freaked out. and then i realized, it was the children from the nursery hahah my bad >.<"
anyway, i hope they will all stop crying soon. and enjoy their stay while waiting for their parents to get home from. poor little angels, you must be scared, being at a place so unfamiliar to you.
ohh and for those parents who have been wondering, from the outside, the nursery looked nice. it was newly painted with bright and vibrant colours, the lawn is clean too. the nursery was opened recently, and there's not many children as yet. i think that's a bonus point because they can attend to these few children better.
but still, it is better for you to visit and evaluate things on your own right? so if you were considering a place for your child there, you can visit them at :
No. 3, Jalan Mawar 4, Tmn Mawar. :)
it is not easy...to let people know what's on your mind, and understand things the way you wanted them to. and words are sometimes easier to be manipulated. multiple times easier in fact, as compared to when it needs to be expressed. and the thought of having to deal with that kind of situation scares me.
but you know what's harder? to try explaining all those things that are happening inside your head and heart, that you, yourself don't understand. so, how much can we rely on other people to understand those things?
and maybe...just maybe. that is amongst a few reasons why people like me, no matter how hurtful events are, no matter how hard, we would try to keep them to ourselves as long as possible. because despite the fact that we could not find the proper word to describe the situation, there're just too many hearts involve and they need to be protected as well.
it's okay, putting a smile is easy anyway.
No. 3, Jalan Mawar 4, Tmn Mawar. :)