Welcome! Everything I wrote here is an expression of what my heart feels. Do forgive me if I ever offended anyone in any kind of way. Good day! :)
there's a girl...
as the world goes, time flies- and everything around starts changing bit by bit. and no matter how hard we try to stop the change, if it is meant to change, it will change. regardless the time- when and where.
that day, the same as the previous days. it is supposed to be filled with laughter and joy. instead, there she stood, very still, and in the mirror she saw a face. a face which seems very familiar, yet very distant. she seems lost. i think i know her, and i sometimes, i just wish i really did. so that i can ease up all of the things she went through all of these years. for the eyes portrayed a lot of stories- all of the hellos and goodbyes. and when she looked back at me, there's a twitch in my heart that says....she is hurting inside.
moments passed. yet still, she throw that same old empty stare into the mirror, trying to figure out what really is the problem. she is tired to suppress everything inside of her, but she just can't let it all out. she tried to cry, yet even tears resist her. either her tears are too tired of falling, or it could not afford to hurt those dark brown eyes over and over again- she don't have a clue.
she wanted to come off strong, allowing no one to see the pain she is going through. she tried so hard to make people believe by those words, "i can handle myself well, i'm strong enough to handle my emotions, i'm okay, i'm smiling throughout the pain". but behind every girl's "i'm okay", there will always be another story which she could not tell.
she thinks hard for the happiness of others more than her own. she wanted all her beloved ones get their happiness. she would cry for them, she would laugh for them, she would put almost everything in consideration for them. she just loves them all too much, even at some point, some used her-being played around, ignored and neglected- yet she just went on with it.
but through it all, and as painful as it seems, those eyes still picture a small portion of hope. hope, love and trust, that she puts in Allah. she started to taught herself, not to be so weak and low. because above all, Allah never resist her love. Allah never let her down, her questions of why why and why are always answered. by taking one thing away, Allah give her something else. and in the searching of rainbow, Allah gave her tests, as hot and as firing as the sun, and then Allah pour rain, hiding away the sun, and allowing the rainbow to appear.
she learnt that no matter how much she puts her love on people, people will hurt her. no matter how much she sacrifices for people, people will eventually back-stabbed her. no matter how much trusts she puts on people, people will let her down. no matter how much loyal or faithful she would be to people, people will still be people, and nothing is going to change the fact that people cannot be perfect and most of us people hurt each other everyday. but whenever she turned her way to Allah, it is different. and that is one thing people around her could not take away from her. her love towards Allah. that is the only thing that keep her heart alive.
p/s : i miss my two brothers. :(
when Allah straight away answers your prayers, it means Allah loves you,when Allah take longer time to answer your prayers, it means Allah is testing you,but when Allah did not answer your prayers, it means Allah have something better planned for you.so it is best to put trusts in Allah :')